There's a lot wrong with this video of one Lucky Santa allegedly receiving a hand job in the sultry aisles of the 14th Street Duane Reade, an event that reportedly occurred during Saturday's SantaCon.

Bowery Boogie reports that the video does depict an in-pharmacy sex act, but we're dubious. First, how can we be sure that this is a hand job when Santa's back is turned to us? Maybe his paramour is just cold. Maybe she was searching for...presents.

And if it is a hand job, it's the sloppiest execution ever, which would certainly be in keeping with the theme of SantaCon itself. His wide-legged stance and the way he grips the adjacent display certainly suggest something more salacious than reindeer games.

Then again, this is what happened moments before. At least one hand appears to be searching for warmth in Santa's lower back, far from any place it might find a "job."

It's time, then, to address the age-old question: Hand Job or just Old Fashioned Chivalry?