There are only ever cute kittens and cute puppies in those animal carriers you see people toting around on the subway. If there is ever anything else in one of those, you are dreaming and it's probably a nightmare and there's probably a snake in there and you are probably on a really crowded subway stuck next to the snake, who definitely looks like he can slice that netting open with his tongue. WAKE UP, that nightmare is real!
Feeling okay that the snake is in a bag? Thinking to yourself, "Stop overreacting, this rarely happens"? Then you are living in the same delusional world as MTA spokesman Adam Lisberg, who told us, "Fortunately, this is not a regular enough issue that we need Samuel L. Jackson to record an automated announcement for subway cars about it." But you guys... look at all these motherf*ckin' snakes on the motherf*ckin' subway!
a teen just got on the subway with a live seven-foot snake wrapped around him, followed by a friend with two 2’ live snake bracelets
— sega juice (@dry_hugs) May 19, 2014
A lady literally came into subway with a real snake around her neck hissing at everyone as her "accessory".....I've officially seen it all
— Danielle Burla (@danielleburla) June 21, 2014
— meredith (@maypowerss) June 18, 2014
Good to be home...(Yes that is a guy with a snake on my subway car) pic.twitter.com/hSm6e2y1Q2
— Willie Garson (@WillieGarson) May 7, 2013
— anna richards (@annafrichards) October 6, 2013
SIR KEEP YOUR SNAKE OFF THE SUBWAY AND CERTAINLY DO NOT HANG IT FROM THE HANDRAIL ABOVE YOUR SEAT
— Nancé (@nancyalligood) August 2, 2013
Scary site on the subway today. Yes, she was wearing a snake. A real, moving, alive, creepy snake. Is it even legal? pic.twitter.com/6XlQuCrC1C
— shira (@shiramisu) May 12, 2013
As a reminder, animals must be kept in a carrier on the subway. ESPECIALLY SNAKES.