He could be writing the next Bottle Rocket. He could be a member of the Tom Hanks school of diehard typewriter enthusiasts. He could be your brother, your son, or an NYPD officer circa 2010. Only one thing is for sure: Mr. Typewriter Man is the last person you'd want to be stuck sitting near on a long Metro-North ride.

Judging by the video, Metro-North riders really have gone soft—back in our day, this would have warranted at least a drunken shouting match about privilege, if not an embarrassing physical altercation (alas, R.I.P. bar cars). Without societal pressure, what's to stop Mr. Typewriter Man from breaking out a portable Easy Bake oven and whipping up some courtesan au chocolats?

So what level of brilliant artistry would justify the egregious amount of preciousness and noise pollution for you? If he were writing the next Moby Dick, would it make the obnoxiousness more tolerable? What about the next Fortress of Solitude? Would you accept a Betty Smith ripoff titled, A Typewriter Pounds In Brooklyn?

[h/t Barstool Sports]