Important Literary Person Jonathan Franzen is known for loving birds and being mildly interested in the lives of Iraqi war orphans (he also wrote a few books that have all been pretty good, if wildly overrated). But he's mostly known around the Internet for being that guy who hates Twitter and really wants you to know about it. In his quest to make sure everyone knows how much he dislikes Twitter, Franzen discussed it with Stephen Colbert last night: "As somebody who enjoys a complicated sentence, I have a resistance...it's hard to create a sentence that uses the word 'although' in it in 140 characters."

Franzen also read Colbert a spooky bedtime story that may or may not be a metaphor for something.

Colbert started this episode out by nerding out on the new Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer—he was on vacation when it was released last week, so he had some important Force-related theories to share with everyone.