"The American Health Care Act: You may not have wanted it. It looks awful. But it's here anyway. Try to think of it as the legislative equivalent of Pirates of the Caribbean 5: The Curse of Johnny Depp Getting Divorced and Needing the Money," John Oliver said last night on Last Week Tonight.
"Essentially, it seems people on both sides see the [American Health Care Act] as just being shitty Obamacare, the way Old Navy is a shitty version of the Gap, and the way Easter, let's be honest, should just be called Shitty Christmas," Oliver continued. But because there's still a chance this shitty bill could make its way through the shitty House and become a shitty law, Oliver took a closer look into what is actually inside the shitty bill.
Among his concerns is the age-based tax credit, which replaces Obamacare's income-based credit, and the "really vicious" changes to Medicaid: "This plan is literally taking money from the poor and giving it to the very rich," Oliver said. "It's essentially a reverse Bernie Sanders, which is actually also the name of a sex act consisting of very aggressive fingering."
He is also perplexed by the fact that six pages of the bill are devoted to a scenario that asks, "What if one poor person suddenly becomes less poor?" As he put it, "I'm honestly surprised they did't also have a section covering what would happen in a Freaky Friday-type situation!" Watch Oliver draft his own Freaky Friday clause, then enlist Catheter Cowboy to help explain the AHCA to Trump.