Last Week Tonight (aka "Ballers for weak insecure people") isn't back on HBO until September 25th, but John Oliver has a civic duty to keep eviscerating worthy targets even when he's on vacation (and even when the entire country is on vacation).

To that end, Oliver proposed some ideas on how to build off of the rule that one shouldn't wear white after Labor Day—like ending the scourge of winking. "A wink is a gesture that is somehow both deeply sexual and incredibly unsexy, like licking a pine cone," he reasons. Check it out below.