When they're not busy spending quality time with their family in confined spaces, Jay Z and Beyonce apparently spend their days making homemade homages to Spring Breakers—albeit, by gathering their famous actor friends and filming very high quality fake action movie trailers which are really glorified promo clips for already announced joint tours. Watch it below!

Among other things, the video includes a lot of shots of Beyonce proving she doesn't know how to hold a gun, Sean Penn apparently hitting his 'Nick Nolte' phase, Jake Gyllenhaal definitely hitting his 'vagrant chic' phase, Emmy Rossum as the world's least convincing cop, Jay Z experimenting with a toothpick look, Rashida Jones punchlines, and a much-needed reminder that Blake Lively isn't a very good actress. Oh, and Don Cheadle. He's alright.

Whether or not everyone was high when they agreed to participate in this—and whether a curator was on set for filming—is yet to be determined. Regardless, this has Illuminati stamped all over it. Clearly that's why there's no appearance from Rihanna (or Solange).