Today the Daily News goes all "old lady in Dubuque" on The Standard Hotel, which features glorious bathrooms with floor-to-ceiling windows up at the 18th floor nightclub. Now we've personally used these facilities, and can confirm that the view is breathtaking and not once did we worry we were scandalizing pedestrians with our exposed junk. That is because you're so freaking high up nobody can possibly see you from the street—unless that person is a photographer with a telephoto lens snapping misleading photos for some desperate tabloid. Here's the view from inside the can:

And here's the view from the street:

(Katie Sokoler / Gothamist)

"AH my GAHD ma and pa you can see giant pee pees up in the sky through that telescope the reporter told us to look through! ONLY IN NEW YORK! Sure, you can quote us on that, Mr. Journalism School Graduate!"