All this time, we've thought of God as Nelson Muntz, haw-hawing from a heavenly throne while we struggle, stumble and complain about the unyielding shitty weather. But maybe God is more of a Milhouse: a well-intentioned loser who just wants to impress us, but still cries every time he runs out of chocolate milk.

He's also a hopeless romantic (albeit one who misunderstood the central themes of Romeo & Juliet), so maybe the record-breaking freezing temperatures were his misguided attempt at wooing us. Because as you can see in the video below, the Hudson River doesn't look like a supervillain's death trap from the heavens—those dominating ice floes look more like the glittering frozen necklace around the bosom of NYC.

Just think of this as God's way of giving New Yorkers a 10-gallon tub of Gummi bears. And to top it off, it's gonna be in the 40s today. Everything really is coming up Milhouse.