Last night, David Letterman returned from his vacation and addressed the alleged Al-Qaeda death threat: "I have a fatwa on me. And they say the guy that issued the fatwa is an Internet jihadist. Internet jihadist, and I said, 'Well, heck, who says Obama isn't creating jobs?'" He also said, "We have a great audience night in and night out but tonight you mean a lot to me. You people are more than an audience tonight, really. You're more like a human shield."

Last week, an assassination threat on Letterman's life was made on an Al Qaeda message board: "Is there not amongst you a Sayyid Nosair al-Masri (may Allah release him) to cut the tongue of this lowly Jew and shut it forever. Just as Sayyid (may Allah release him) did with the Jew Kahane?" Letterman addressed it specifically, "You're not going to believe what happened. A guy, a radical extremist threatened to cut my tongue out. I wish I had a nickel for every time a guy has threatened …I think the first time was during the Academy Awards."

You can watch the whole program here, but for kicks, here's Letterman's Top Ten List ("Thoughts That Went Through My Mind After Hearing about the Threat"):

10. "Someone wants to silence me? Get in line."
9. "Nothing says summer fun like a death threat."
8. "Why is the staff in such a good mood?"
7. "Save me, Oprah!"
6. "Should I wear my Kevlar hairpiece?"
5. "And here I thought nobody watched the show."
4. "How can someone be so angry at a time when Kim Kardashian is so happy?"
3. "Some people get Emmy nominations; some people get death threats."
2. "This seems like Leno's handiwork."
1. "Oh my God, they canceled ‘The George Lopez Show'!”

This has been a busy summer for Letterman: Two men broke into the Ed Sullivan theater (one was drunk, the other maybe wanted a job).