Three years and one month after his first visit, Mayor Bloomberg returned to Late Night With Jimmy Fallon last night with curious claims about his subway habits, quips about the GOP and his stock answer as to why he doesn't want to be the President. Also, Hizzoner has some advice for all you young whippersnappers out there!

Bloomberg stuck with his standard monotone for the duration of the two-part interview, but Fallon at least kept the billionaire from Boston from getting stuck on a single topic. So, for example, we got this history lesson regarding the current, endless GOP nomination battle:

If you remember every four years these campaigns are exactly the same. Everybody fights, everybody shoots themselves in the foot and then afterwards they all recover and the country makes a decision. We've had a democracy for 235 years, it'll go on.

Not a bad point! But considering the fighting, does Mayor Mike ever think that, considering the polls, he could just run for prez? Stock answer time!

There are times people love you, times people don't. You just can't look at the polls. You gotta go and do what is right. I've got a better job, I think, than the president's. The mayor's job you are hands on all the time. LaGuardia supposedly said, 'there's no Republican or Democratic way to pick up the garbage you just have to do it.' But the mayor's responsible for the schools, responsible for safety, responsible for transportation, parks, cultural institutions. The mayor can do things the president just can't. The president is in this bubble all the time. He can't walk the streets. I walk the streets all the time without worrying about it. The secret service would never let you do that.

And what about the kids? What advice does Bloomberg, who once happily offered to "accomodate" OWS protesters looking to be arrested, have to offer our nation's youth?

The advice I always give young people: Get rid of the words 'I' and 'me' out of your vocabulary. Change them to 'we' and 'us'. You don't do anything by yourself, there is no job that I know of where you do by yourself, and if you want people to help you you have to give credit to them.

Other than that the pair talked about kissing Lady Gaga, the insane photos that have come out of the Inner Circle show over the years (for example, the latest with Nick Jonas or the one with the Jersey Shore kids), how often he takes the subway (he still likes to exaggerate that fact!), not to mention the terrifying possibility that, after the third term is over, Bloomberg might make a go at Late Night With Mike Bloomberg. God no!

Part 1:

Part 2: