Donald Trump already has his own perfect campaign theme song ("Cowardice? Are You Serious"), but until everyone in America has been legally compelled to memorize those lyrics (though who could forget lines such as, "Inspire proudly freedom to the world, Ameritude!"), we will have to make do with the pathetic American songbook as is. Last night in Florida, we got a glimpse of what a President Trump/Vice President Carson inauguration might look like: awkward hand claps, awkward eyebrow raises, awkward ties, awkward forced smiling, awkward off-rhythm shuffling, the obliteration of the rights of half the country, and Trump-themed lyrics for all.
In the future that stands before us, only orange men in pink ties will be allowed to sing big band covers of soul standards.
Hey, at least no one was punched, yanked, kicked, or knifed at the event!