The Upper East Side has been in a sad spiral for several years now, filling up with sad young people with no social lives. With NYC slowly turning into "Moscow On The Hudson," some UESers are raging against the dying of the light with every breath they have—and today, that means complaining to the Wall Street Journal about the Apple store which is set to move into the East 70s.

Because once upon a time, the Upper East Side stood for something. And that something was dignified lines. Lines of dignity.

"It [Madison Avenue] has been a fine retail corridor that doesn't generate the crowds that Apple does,” said Herbert Feinberg, the 89-year-old longtime UES resident who is leading a campaign to stop Apple from moving into a 12,500 square foot store at Madison and East 74th Street. "The Whitney didn’t do that at all except for Friday events, but it was a dignified line. No shouting, no screaming, no tents, no sleeping bags, no barbecues."

We sympathize with Feinberg because he's elderly, and he lives a few doors down from the proposed Apple store. At the same time, we don't sympathize with him because he lives in a five-story townhouse, and Apple has already stated its intent to make this store more in synch with the unique arrhythmic of the UES.

"The Upper East Side store is designed to serve an important role in the neighborhood and respect the surrounding community. In this case, that means a smaller footprint, earlier closing time, and private shopping options for customers," the company said in a statement. This seems pretty reasonable! But not to Feinberg:

Mr. Feinberg is unconvinced, though. For the businessman, the Apple store is sure to destroy the peacefulness of “the finest section of New York” and the place where those “who have made it” reside.

Well, if you don't want to be a part of society, there's always the option of buying the exclusive $18.9 million apartment farthest from the subway.