[TERRIBLE UPDATES BELOW] If we've told you once, we've told you a thousand times: it is inconsiderate to tie your used condom to a subway pole... or anywhere else in the subway system, for that matter. In fact—and this might come off as a little uptight—the only place you should be stashing your used condom is in a designated trash receptacle. (Or your freezer at home, pending approval from your roommates.)
Windsor Terrace resident Ryan Quinn spotted this prophylactic faux-pas on a Manhattan-bound F train this morning—but not until he was about to put his hand on it. Quinn said he boarded the F train at Fort Hamilton Parkway at 8 a.m., but the used condom didn't catch his eye at first. "I walked in and saw this guy lying down on the bench and said, 'I guess I won't be sitting down.'"
Quinn grabbed onto the pole as the train lumbered toward Manhattan, and at the next stop he started to slide over to make room for other passengers. "I moved my hand on the pole to slide down a little and did a double take, because I realized, 'That's a fucking condom.' Just hanging there, tied like a balloon. It was eye-level, it was disgusting."
— RyRy (@meandtherhythm) October 10, 2014
Quinn says he spent the rest of his commute warning other oblivious passengers about the used condom threat. "I didn't know if it was going to rupture or something. People started trying to sit down and these ladies kept almost brushing their hair against it. And one lady's hair did bump against the condom."
The condom was still lashed to the subway pole when Quinn left the train at Lexington Avenue / 63rd Street. "I've never seen anything this disgusting on the subway in my life. I can't wait to see how the rest of my day is going to go." Neither can we, Ryan. Neither can we.
Update: According to commenter Whitney Jacoby, the condom has been tied to the pole since Tuesday. Here's photographic evidence, but maybe it's photoshop, maybe it's photoshop, maybe it's photoshop...
(Courtesy Whitney Jacoby)
Update 3:45 p.m.: Oh God. So a frequent F train ride just emailed us yet another used condom photo, and it appears to depict the same goddamn prophylactic. She says she spotted it in SEPTEMBER, on the morning of the 24th. "Definitely been there since September," she declares, with grim certainty. If true, it means this condom and its dreaded contents have been stewing there for well over a fortnight.
Our tipster, who asked to remain anonymous because she does not want her name forever associated with a used subway condom, says she's sure this is the same condom that came to our attention this morning. "It seems to be tied the same way," she adds.
Of course, another, darker possibility looms, deep down in the repressed shadows at the edge of consciousness. "What if there's some sicko tying condoms to subway poles?" Gothamist co-founder Jen Chung wonders. "I don't know what's more disturbing, that or the same condom being tied there." Hmmm, we're gonna go with Serial Used Condom Litterer being the more disturbing scenario. As Rebecca put it, "Please God let this be Banksy."