[EARTH-SHATTERING CELEBRITY UPDATE BELOW] Noted Buddhist monk and actor Alec Baldwin allegedly punched a Daily News photographer this morning outside the Marriage License Bureau. “He was looking mad,” photographer Marcus Santos said, describing every human being who gets stalked by photographers for magazines people flip through whenever they need to feel a little superior for a few fleeting moments. "He comes after me, starts shoving and punching me—one time, right in the chin," Santos said. But a source close to the actor tells Gothamist he was just playing Punches With Friends, and meant no disrespect.

Baldwin was apparently picking up a marriage license with his fiancee, 28-year-old Hilaria Thomas, when he was approached by photographers and the confrontation ensued. We're pretty sure this counts as his Glengarry Glen Ross revival audition.

IMPORTANT CELEBRITY UPDATE: Baldwin's tweets regarding the matter aren't exactly smoothing things over:

Baldwin's publicist released this statement:

As Alec and his fiancée were leaving City Hall, a 'civilian' walking in front of Alec positioned himself to obstruct the view of a photographer aggressively trying to shoot the couple.

The photographer was clearly frustrated, pushed past the bystander and assaulted Alec with his camera. There were no punches thrown, and any subsequent physical contact was simply Alec protecting himself.

See? The photographer fixed his bayonet to his camera and assaulted him. Case closed. Not really: the photographer has filed a complaint with the NYPD against Baldwin for assault.