In case you don't keep track of important things and/or have your tin foil hat fastened incorrectly, today is Beyonce's birthday. Fans, followers, devotees, groupies and true beylievers all across the web are celebrating—and that seemingly includes a group of Beyonce birth cultists who have currently gathered in Madison Square Park awaiting some mysterious countdown.

"My coworkers and I are just like WHAT IS GOING ON!!" Britta James, who works nearby, told us of the scene. "Only one of them spoke to tell us about the site but said she would say no more than that." The site, which the cultists say is "something special for her fans," is Countdown To Last Night (there is also a #LastNight hashtag, although it hasn't really taken off yet).

As of 2:30 p.m. EST, we have 2 hours and 21 minutes until the special surprise is unveiled—that would mean the surprise is coming at 4:31 p.m. (okay, maybe 4:30 p.m., telling time is hard). Sure, they want you to believe that this is all leading to the premiere of a new song...but that is just one opinion, man. Here are just some of the facts we're working with:

  • Beyonce was born at 04:37 a.m. CST in Houston Texas
  • 04:37 a.m. CST = 05:37 a.m. EST
  • 05:37 a.m. EST =/= 4:31 p.m. EST
  • The accuracy of these facts is possibly in question
  • Beyonce is an anagram for Once Bey
  • Beyonce's middle name is Giselle
  • Giselle means "Pledge"
  • Beyonce has pledged herself to the Illuminati
  • Blue Ivy doesn't exist

Maybe we're relying on symbols too much. Maybe "last night" is literal. Maybe Beyonce went on a killing spree.

Maybe Beyonce and Jay Z got divorced and then held each other.

Of course, this could also have nothing (directly) to do with Beyonce. This could just be a fan-made tribute, or worse, a brand's attempt to co-op her birthday for #hashtags.

Either way, we'll update the post if anyone gets raptured...flawlessly.

Update: It turns out the website had nothing to do with Beyonce. It was very clever of them to use Beyonce for viral promotion, but also: fuck them.