[UPDATE BELOW] We don't mean to brag, but today we received a very special invitation to set up a "poolside appointment" on July 31st with the CEO of the Greater Miami Convention and Visitors Bureau. To promote tourism to Miami, they're building a one-day "pop-up" pool somewhere in Union Square Park, which will feature a "sexy, chic pool deck with bikini clad models, palm trees, cabanas, DJs spinning, and six hours of fun in the sun!" Oh, it's going to be chill and fly, and you're not invited!

Although the pool is popping up in one of the NYC's most historic parks, it's not going to be open to the public. We asked the publicist about this, and were told that "unfortunately for health/sanitary reasons the pool itself will not be open to the public." See, one little poop in the deep end and suddenly New Yorkers can't be trusted around a swimming pool. But on the plus side, they're offering media a car service to and from the pool! And there's going to be "Miami trip giveaways throughout the day and a slew of other prizes."

A spokesperson for the Parks Department is still trying to find out how much the visitors bureau is paying the city to set up a private pool in a public park. But good old reliable Geoffrey Croft with NYC Park Advocates tells us, "It's classic, while NYC ranks dead last in the provision of public pools and the Union Square area ranks last in the the least amount of park space the Bloomberg administration insists on allowing these exclusive commercial events that take away public park land."

As far as publicity stunts go, this seems ill-conceived, and yet ironically appropriate! Do you like being an outsider looking in on an exclusive party with bikini models splashing around a swimming pool? That is SO Miami. And something tells us this "health/sanitary" excuse doesn't exactly hold water. We seem to remember the filthy general public being allowed to swim in dumpster pools run by the city right on Park Avenue.

Croft adds, "The fact that it's not open to the public and the only way to access it is for the media to stop by for 'poolside appointment' and that they will send a car service do to so speaks volumes. Bloomberg and Benepe have turned this historic park into a mall." We wish—the nearest Cinnabon is 20 damn blocks away!

Update: The publicist writes back to clarify that while no one will be allowed in the pool, they will be "welcoming consumers up to the deck (as you can see in the left of the rendering) for photo opportunities, handing out Miami-branded giveaways, highlighting some of what makes Miami so special with themed demonstrations and will even be giving a trip to Miami away every hour."