Todd Barry, as you know, is a comedian. However, he wasn't always a comedian. Todd's new essay in the New York Times magazine today tells one of his true-life New York stories, pre-comedian days.

This one is all about being a sub at the School for the Deaf...without knowing sign language. Ah, hijinks ensue.

"The School for the Deaf needs a sub today," the woman on the line said.

"I don't know sign language," I said.

"It doesn't matter," the woman said.

It doesn't matter if I know sign language? Wow. I'll remember this conversation when I get a call from "60 Minutes."

Read The Sub here, and please support New York comedians so they aren't teaching the deaf.