Okay, if we could add one more thing to our list of things we must do before we die, it would be taking a commercial airline flight with comedian Todd Barry and some medical waste. First of all, because sometimes he travels first class. Second, because his NY Times Magazine "Funny Pages" story about the time he found a used syringe in the his first-class seat pocket is priceless. Here's some of it, post-syringe discovery:

At this point, the man sitting next to me chimed in, in a really annoying know-it-all voice, "We use a syringe to feed our baby." I don't remember punching him in the face, but if this were a perfect story, that's what would have happened. Then a group of special security guys entered the plane. They stared at the syringe, concluding that removing it was not enough; they had to yank off the entire seat pocket. Wow, I thought. That's hard core.

As they planned this, the pilot walked over. He assured me that they took the situation very seriously. The guy next to me told the pilot about his baby-feeding technique, then followed up with, "Or the syringe could've come from a diabetic."

The pilot fired back, "It could've come from a diabetic with AIDS."

Score! The man next to me was silent. I should have given the pilot a standing ovation, but since I've never gotten one, I just sat there with a look that said, "Well, I guess we're done talking about your kid."

Strangely enough, the Post reports that a flight out of Newark was delayed because a passenger found a two inch razor (attached to a handle) on the seat; it seems that it was a gum-scrapping device left on the plane by a crew member.

Todd is performing at Stand Up NY tonight and Saturday. And he's a friend too.