In their biggest scoop since learning that Matthew Fox was detained for punching a vagina, TMZ has broken open the story of Jason Alexander's mysterious hair restoration. Is this a massive betrayal of the bald community? Does this count as a hate crime? Let's all keep some perspective here: as Larry David, official spokesman and poet emeritus of the bald, so eloquently put it in an interview with Huffington Post, it's hard out there for a bald brother, so cut him some slack: "Most actors don't let themselves get bald. They get transplants or weaves or something. When's the last time you saw a bald president? There'll be a woman and a Jewish president and maybe even a Muslim president before a bald president."