I thought the Fort Tilden 'glampsite' pitch would be the thing that annoyed me most this week, but then I got this press release: "Dream Downtown unveils $20K poolside package for August."

Starting August 1st, the Dream Downtown will charge people 20 thousand dollars to rent two lounge chairs by the hotel pool. The deal gives you full access for a full month, but that's still $645-per-day, assuming you don't miss a day to take your pet capybara Muffy to her therapy session.

In all fairness, the $20,000 doesn't just get you the pool seats. You can use the gym, spa, and hair salon, and have a butler at your beck and call, in case you've forgotten your own butler at home. You also get a bottle of rosé every day. Still, that better be some seriously mind-altering rosé.

Manager Randy Taormina did address the price tag, noting that, "While $20K may sound like a lot, what you’re really paying for is access." Taormina added, "It’s the ultimate summer amenity for anyone living in Manhattan who doesn’t already have a house share in The Hamptons," except a house share in the Hamptons pays for a whole goddamn house, I assume, and this deal is for two lounge chairs.

Taormina told Gothamist in an email, "We're always receiving requests from locals to buy a reserved spot by the pool, and in the past, we've always had to say no. This is our way of giving people what they want!" He hasn't gotten any buyers yet, but for now, know that only a limited number of these chairs are available. If you can't nab one in time, perhaps you can drown your sorrows in $4,900 chicken wings or take a helicopter to the real Hamptons.