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This Is The Gold Standard In Subway Etiquette


(Photo by Christine Clayton)

There are a lot of things going on here: a man, well dressed but with sensible walking shoes, commuting via subway. A messenger bag beneath a perfectly folded scarf. (When did he fold the scarf?) Then there's the matter of the 5 gift bags, all brightly colored in shades of pink and lime green... except for one, which is black. What is in the black bag? If you peered inside would you see a man, well dressed but with sensible walking shoes, commuting via subway? No, this isn't a Twilight Zone episode, it's something much less believable: good subway etiquette.

What you are seeing here is a new form that we should all learn and practice in 2016: the human cube. A self-contained unit traveling in the most polite and perfect way through the New York City subway system. A unicorn. A mirage. An agent of good. Follow him.

This photo was taken this morning on the Q train at the Ditmars stop, and as you can see it wasn't even crowded. Each of those bags could have gotten their own seat, while our main man here could have manspread all the way to wherever he was headed. Probably to donate these gifts to charity, such a goddamn hero on every level.

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