Maybe the real reason New Yorkers don't look up is because they know they'll see a goddamn mansion on top of a building. A sprawling set of cottages, even. Their dream, completely out of reach, looking down on them, cackling.

Over at the corner of East 13th Street and 3rd Avenue is the most real estate envy inducing property we've ever seen in this town: a $4.4 million penthouse with a rooftop cottage. Or maybe it's cottages—according to the Corcoran listing, there are more than one, and there are two private garden terraces to go with them.

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You know, we've tried to embrace the beauty of living in a tiny studio overlooking a garbage courtyard, to really live that minimalist lifestyle, to be at one with our closet that is half the depth of a normal closet, therefore not allowing for regular size hangers. We know these grand living spaces mean nothing in the end. But we want this. We want the Manhattan rooftop cottage life. Please tell us who we sell our souls to in order to make this happen. [Thanks EV Grieve. Thanks a lot.]