Last night America got the first glimpse of what happened when the Jersey Shore invaded Italy earlier this year. Since their visit (which included incidents like Snooki crashing into a cop car), the Italian government has most likely been working on a way to bar Americans from ever returning to their beautiful country. But since they're currently still open for business, here are some travel tips from the cast, from last night's premiere:

  • An Italian guy on a Vespa is like a hot guy here on a street bike.
  • They may or may not sell eyelashes in Italy. It's probably best you bring your own.
  • If you don't know where Italy is on a map, it's shaped like a boot.
  • European girls are more free-spirited.
  • You can say "I have cramps" in Italian: un crampo.
  • DTF (Down To Fuck) doesn't translate to Italian, so you need to say, "Are you ready to fuck?" Or rather, "Sei pronto a scopare?"
  • Your first toast in Italy should be with Limoncello. It's an Italian drink that "tastes like lemons... bitter, sour, and yellow."
  • You need this much luggage if you are staying for a couple of weeks:
snookiluggage0711.jpg
  • A bidet is European, and it's "a way of cleaning your butthole." It also comes in handy on "a lonely night."
  • Italians may or may not believe in electricity. Either way, Italy needs more outlets.
  • Clubs in Italy are better than the club D'Jais in Belmar, New Jersey.

The cast was still working on finding out the age of consent when the first episode faded to black, but there are twelve more episodes left, each likely jam packed with lessons like the above. But if you're actually interested in the plotline, here were the big reveals: The Situation admits he's been hooking up on the sly with Snooki, even though she has a boyfriend. And J-WOWW has lost weight and turned into a bobble head... also, something happened to her face.

Fin.