Voyage, Tom Stoppard’s first installment in the three play Coast of Utopia series, crowned a month of breathless Times hype with a gushing Brantley rave. But good old Tommy “Can’t Stop; Won’t” Stoppard – famous for his perfectionism – still ain't satisfied. According to Michael Riedel, Stoppard has been staking out Lincoln Center during intermission and confronting any audience member with the temerity to jump ship during the (nearly) three hour tour. According to Riedel, the exchange usually goes something like this:

Stoppard: "Please. I really want to know. Are you leaving because it's boring?"
Subscriber (crinkling a cough-drop wrapper): "Well, yes."
Stoppard: "Why is it boring?"
Subscriber: "Too much philosophy!"

(At which point Stoppard signals for Lincoln Center security to hog-tie the patrons and drag them back to their seats.)

If you don’t already know about this year’s Tony award kerfuffle you probably have the good sense not to care. (The committee that governs the Tonys will be voting on whether current revivals of Les Miserables and A Chorus Line – which are pretty much identical to the originals – should be eligible for anything in the Best Revival category.) But there is a debate happening right now that we all have a stake in, and that’s What’s Good/What Blows’ survey of New York theatre's most notorious restrooms. If we’re going to do something about the appalling state of theater restrooms in this town, we’ve got to make our voices heard. (Conspicuously absent from the ballot is SoHo Rep’s narrow “door-less” men’s room right next to the ladies’ room.) So go vote and maybe we can shame New York Theatre Workshop into expanding their parody of a men’s room beyond its current Lilliputian proportions.

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Should you feel the need to familiarize yourself with all the restrooms on the ballot, Monday night will present the perfect opportunity to test drive the Public Theater’s facilities. According to today’s Times, Vaclav Havel (who has been lecturing at Columbia and popping up at The Havel Festival) will finally collect his three Obie Awards – won in ’68, ’70 and ’84. (He was in and out of prison in Czechoslovakia for much of that time.) The award ceremony will also feature a panel discussion with theatrical heavyweights Wallace Shawn, Edward Albee, Israel Horovitz and Anna Deavere Smith. Joe’s Pub is hosting the after-party, where Michelle Shocked will join Uncle Moon, a five-piece “eclectic art band”, to cover the entire ‘67 Velvet Underground ‘Banana’ album. Havel, a leading figure in the Velvet Revolution, once asked Lou Reed, “Did you know that I am president because of you?” (We hear Lou replied, “Yeah, join the club.”)