In 2013, the Times reached a zenith in onanistic trend pieces with a feature filled with futurism consultants who thought "Brooklyn is turning out to be the last three days of Burning Man." In 2014, it reached even higher with pubic hair investigations and profiles of 22-year-old narcissists. And they didn't disappoint in 2015, whether they were embracing hobo chic or profiling Millennials who pay $4,000/month for the "dormlike atmosphere." This isn't to take away from all the excellent, harrowing, important work the Times is doing—there are a lot of things they do well, and then there are the monocle trend pieces. Below, take some antacid and check out the best of the worst Brunch Hate Reads.
5. The Singularity Has Been Achieved: Manhattan Is The New Brooklyn: The snake has eaten its tail. The ouroboros has collided with the Möbius Strip. Manhattan truly is the new Brooklyn (for well-to-do people who get profiled in the NY Times Real Estate section).
4. Brunch Hate Reads: A Tale Of Two Cities Emerges In The NY Times: The divide within the city on issues like gentrification and affordable housing was illustrated well in a series of articles following adventure-seeking well-to-do people who decided to spend a year apartment-hoping around the city using Airbnb—as well as the longtime Crown Heights residents who are now being priced out of the country.
3. Brunch Hate Reads: Brave Gentrifier Recounts Harrowing Decision To Move From Brooklyn To 'Burbs: An important reminder that buying a house for over a million dollars in one of the richest suburbs in America can be construed as a life challenge worth sharing with hundreds of thousands of readers.
2. Brunch Hate Reads: The Tedium Of Real Estate Narcissism: 'The Hunt' remains the quintessential masturbatory NY Times column, and this was the mundane story of basic wealth management the City doesn't need, but will still have jammed down its throat by our most important newspaper.
1. Brunch Hate Reads: NYC Kids Choose Multi-Million Dollar Apartments For Their Parents: The Times tried to spark a class warfare with this hilarious garbage story of .1%ers who have trained their children to help them buy multi-million dollar real estate around NYC. It also inspired my favorite new nom de plume, Funky Von Howersteinjian.
BONUS: The Times also reached peak NY Times demographic this year, taking one step closer to becoming the official message board for adorable doddering old people whose families should probably pay more attention to them.
FURTHER LISTENING: On The Media spoke to us recently about Brunch Hate Reads and why we expect more of the NY Times.
And as ever...
PSA: The NY Times has a weakness for self-parodying trend-baiting, masochistic Millennial obsessing, and the perverse lifestyles of the filthy rich. If a reporter with the Real Estate, Style or Weekend sections approaches you about a story, just smile gently and run in the opposite direction. No one is forcing you to become representative of everything that everyone hates about New Yorkers.