Maybe we should have made it clear in our post yesterday that, in our opinion, The Guinness Book Of World Records is one of the biggest scams ever, almost on par with that Who's Who book your parents spent $100 to get you in to. But we assumed everyone knew that. However, when the Daily Beast published a story this morning titled "Scandal in Twerktown: Big Freedia’s Twerking World Record Challenged," even our very own managing editor John Del Signore was SHOCKED. When reached for comment, Del Signore spouted this defensive, reactionary statement—the kind one gives when one is coming out of a haze of disillusionment.
"After Googling Big Freedia and Twerking I was extremely disappointed that I now know these things, and that this... whatever it is... has been extended into a second day of media coverage. But at least we still have the Guinness World Record for Most Idiotic Nation!"
So, to recap: yesterday when the Guinness Book declared that Big Freedia and her crowd of 358 twerkers were now the title holders of the largest group twerk in history, they were LYING. In fact, in comparison to the actual biggest group twerk, basically no one twerked yesterday, as the biggest group twerk included 1,945 attendees (who were at this year's Teen Choice Awards). This record was verified by the lesser known but equally unimportant RecordSetter.com. We are contacting them right now to get our own record validated of most people not twerking in an office at once.
So when did the biggest group twerk happen? We may never know. But it definitely wasn't yesterday.