Supersonic, a new documentary about the glory days of Oasis, the greatest faux-Beatles cover band of the '90s (or all time?!?), will be in theaters for one-night only today before hitting the streaming circuit—many (but not all) of the showings around NYC are already sold out, but ask yourself: would that really stop a Gallagher brother from getting in to see it?

Normally, an occasion like this would call for an albums ranking list, much like we previously did for Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, David Bowie and They Might Be Giants. Except the problem is, everyone knows Oasis's first two albums are far-and-away their best good albums (though The Masterplan and about half of Don't Believe The Truth are very solid as well). And at this point in 2016, Oasis's music has long been overshadowed by the never-ending banter from Noel and Liam Gallagher.

This week alone, the biggest headline to come out of the promotional cycle for the documentary had to do with a story in The Mirror about how Noel tormented his brother for years over his fear of ghosts by moving furniture around in his bedroom while out on the road with the band. I don't know a lot of people who listen to Noel's High Flying Birds (I know literally zero people who have listened to Beady Eye), but I know hundreds of people who retweet and liberally quote every interview they've given.

And it's not a new phenomenon: back in the mid-'90s at the height of Britpop, a recording of an NME writer interviewing the brothers was released as its own single, "Wibbling Rivalry" (under the name "Oas*s"). The main difference now is that Oasis has passed into history, and the music is wholly secondary to the pursuit of these interviews.

So below, we've ranked a list of our 30 favorite insults and quotes from both brothers. Noel is by far the wittier brother, pulling out near-poetic insults as he's grown more comfortable with his position as an elder rockdude; while Liam is nowhere near as...articulate, he ultimately can pull out the nastiest put downs of the two. Check it out below.

30. Noel on Liam: "I read these interviews with him and I don’t know who the guy is who’s in these interviews, he seems really cool, because the guy I’ve been in a band with for the last 18 years is a fucking knobhead." (via Herald Sun)

29. Liam on himself:

28. Noel on the recording process: "Who would want to be Brian Wilson, sitting in a studio in a nappy, eating a fucking carrot with your little fat feet in a sandpit, not going on tour? Fuck that." (via Rolling Stone)

27. Noel on space: "If I ever get to go to the moon, I'll probably just stand on the moon and go: 'Hmmm, yeah, fair enough, gotta go home now.'" (N.B.: source unknown, but if it's good enough for the BBC to include it in their Gallagher quote quiz, it's good enough for me.)

26. Noel on the Internet: "I don’t care what the Internet says. 99.9999% of the people on the Internet are dumbasses anyway." (via Wall Street Journal)

25. Liam on Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong: "Fuck right off. I’m not having him. I just don’t like his head." (via NME)

24. Noel on Justin Bieber: "My cat sounds more rock ’n’ roll that that." (via NME)

23. Liam on Florence and the Machines: "I'm sure she's a nice girl, but she sounds like someone's stood on her fucking foot." (via XFM)

22. Noel on Radiohead: "I’m aware that Radiohead have never had a fucking bad review. I reckon if Thom Yorke fucking shit into a light bulb and started blowing it like an empty beer bottle it’d probably get 9 out of 10 in fucking Mojo. I’m aware of that." (via NME)

21. Liam on Radiohead (specifically, The King Of Limbs): "I heard that fucking Radiohead record and I just go, ‘What?!’ I like to think that what we do, we do fucking well. Them writing a song about a fucking tree? Give me a fucking break! A thousand year old tree? Go fuck yourself!" (via The Quietus)

20. Noel on the Arctic Monkeys: "I would rather drink petrol straight from the nozzle at a garage than listen to an interview with Alex Turner from the Arctic Monkeys." (via London Evening Standard)

19. Noel on wastefulness: "If you're going to buy a doughnut, eat the fucking doughnut. Don't have a bite and then chuck it on the floor. Eat the fucking doughnut." (via GQ)

18. Liam on Noel's post-Oasis projects:

17. Noel on Jack White: "He looks like Zorro on doughnuts." (via NME)

16. Noel on the worst band he's ever heard: "Do you ever look at the sky and think, 'I'm glad I'm alive?' After I heard Sum 41, I thought, I'm actually alive to hear the shittiest band of all time. Which is quite something when you think about it. Of all the bands that have gone before and all the bands that'll be in the future, I was around when the worst was around." (Originally from an unknown source from 2002, but Sum 41 put an excerpt of the quote on their website as a testimonial)

15. Noel on James Blunt: "If I was to write songs literally about my life, heavens above, they would probably be more boring than James Blunt. If that is at all possible. Which of course, as we all know, it isn't." (via BBC)

14. Noel on the Kaiser Chiefs: "I did drugs for 18 years and I never got that bad as to say, 'You know what? I think the Kaiser Chiefs are brilliant.'" (via NME)

13. Liam on why Noel missed the Supersonic premiere: "He’s in one of his really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really big houses. Probably eatin’ tofu while havin’ a fuckin’ face peel, isn’t that right, man of the people?" (via Sky)

12. Noel on Liam: "He’s actually frightened to death of me. I can read him and I can fucking play him like a slightly disused arcade game. I can make him make decisions that he thinks are his but really they’re mine." (via Spin)

11. Noel on the year 2013: "All I've done is sit around the house and become a fucking hypochondriac. Dog-shit year. Can't wait until it's over." (via Rolling Stone)

10. Noel on dogs: "Is there anything funnier than a dog wearing a hat on holiday?! Is there anything funnier than a dog in sunglasses?! I don't think so. I don't think so." (via BBC)

9. Noel on workaholics and terrorism: "I don't like workaholics. Don't fucking trust them. Why are they working? I don't trust busy cunts. That's how wars start: busy fuckers. If terrorism had a weekend off, eventually they'd have a year off. Eventually they'd go, "Fuck this - blowing up shit? Football's on." Thou shalt not be arsed." (via GQ)

8. Noel on fiction: "I only read factual books. I can't think of... I mean, novels are just a waste of fucking time. I can't suspend belief in reality... I just end up thinking, 'This isn't fucking true.'" (via GQ)

7. Noel on book people in general: "The winner of the Pulitzer Prize [for fiction]. What a cunt. Whoever that is, has got to be. I don't get it. Book sellers, book readers, book writers, book owners - fuck all of them." (via GQ)

6. Noel on the price of fame: "I bought a really fucking nice jacket in Japan. Cost me a fortune. And some fucking idiot yesterday... There was a big massive, swirling crush of people, and they had a pen and they just scribbled on my jacket. It's a beautiful jacket, fucking ruined. Ruined! So that's the down side of fame." (See below)

5. Liam on his hobbies: "Climb the odd tree too. Climbed one the other day. I was running on the Heath and I thought, ‘That looks like a nice tree, I’m going to climb that fucking tree.’ Climbed it and sat there with my hood up for about 10 minutes." (via Q)

4. Liam on Bono: "You see pictures of Bono running around LA with his little white legs and a bottle of Volvic and he looks like a fanny." (via The Guardian)

3. Noel on Bono: "Play ‘One’, shut the fuck up about Africa" (via Telegraph) (Funny enough, this quote has also been wrongly attributed to Liam)

2. Noel on Liam: "He’s rude, arrogant, intimidating and lazy. He’s the angriest man you’ll ever meet. He’s like a man with a fork in a world of soup." (via Q Magazine)

1. Liam on Noel: "POTATO" (via Twitter)


If you're looking for more Gallagher excess, we highly recommend watching this compilation of Noel's commentary on Oasis music videos.