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Damnit, we'd been so looking forward to a Bennifer wedding and divorce; now we have nothing! Gothamist thinks Ben Affleck deserves another Oscar for playing the dumpee so well, going to the casino till 5AM and looking crappy. Plus allowing Jennifer Lopez to take the credit for ending the relationship - now that's classy. We'd been hearing that he wanted to dump her for a while (we don't have real inside sources, but we do know some good psychics), but apparently in the settlement, J.Lo got dumping rights. But Gothamist knew, in spite of our naive hopes, that it would never work: He called Stern to rave about her, he looked constipated at public events with her, and, finally, he's from Boston, she's from the Bronx, which is serious chasm in terms of baseball.

Watch Jennifer Lopez at the Golden Globes this Sunday in her first post-Bennifer appearance. And somewhere, Matt Damon and Eva Mendes are glad to be the beta couple in that circle of celebrities. And somewhere else, Kevin Smith gets a phone call from Harvey Weinstein about the fate of Jersey Girl (straight to video or is it saved?).