At 5:14 p.m. EST on Thursday, the trailer to the upcoming CATS movie was released. And we likely will not stop hearing about it until this thing comes out in December, or 84 more trailers from now.
— darth™ (@darth) July 18, 2019
BC actually stands for Before Cats so you are witnessing the dawn of a new era
— E. Alex Jung (@e_alexjung) July 18, 2019
The film, directed by Oscar-winning director Tom Hooper, and starring Jennifer Hudson, Judi Dench, Ian McKellan, Idris Elba, Taylor Swift, James Cordan, Jason Derulo, Rebel Wilson, and Francesca Hayward of the Royal Ballet, is based on Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical a 1986 Saturday Night Live sketch.
While the performers in the musical wore furry costumes, the actors in the film were given fur through a CGI-ish process... and it's extremely distracting.
SONIC: "we just want to give you a movie you will like :("
CATS: "we will give you the movie you sick fucks deserve"— JuanPa (@jpbrammer) July 19, 2019
CATS (2019)
Cinematography by Christopher Ross
Directed by Tom Hooper pic.twitter.com/CMftjRLlud— Ted Geoghegan (@tedgeoghegan) July 18, 2019
“Yes, I did the CGI for ‘Cats.’ In my previous life I designed the extra-long receipts for Duane Reade, and came up with the iTunes interface.”
— colson whitehead (@colsonwhitehead) July 19, 2019
This is camp. pic.twitter.com/PRlmIkzyJ9
— Chris Geidner (@chrisgeidner) July 18, 2019
Cats (2019) pic.twitter.com/4mCZ4dSoeK
— hannah (@waydownhadestwn) July 19, 2019
That Cats movie trailer is creepy but reminder that I made this film years ago https://t.co/XeAZlsotcL
— Pablo Maurer (@MLSist) July 18, 2019
new cats movie looks great pic.twitter.com/T5gNGsRCVx
— an pigeon,, (@imskytrash) July 19, 2019
The cats movie trailer looks like if somebody who just learned what a fursona is tried to direct The Polar Express
— /@/ (@LeftAtLondon) July 19, 2019
So I’ve just seen the trailer for Cats and... holy shit did anyone else see this?! #CatsMovie pic.twitter.com/7pu4BnzHdt
— Judith (@Wetterente) July 19, 2019
What he looks like on Tinder vs. Real life#CatsMovie
(Photo is my tuxedo cat) pic.twitter.com/6ti7xpJITV— Diep Tran 🧙🏼♀️ (@diepthought) July 19, 2019
Fuck my drag? pic.twitter.com/rzwxvpjG9z
— Jarett Wieselman (@JarettSays) July 18, 2019
I don't know why you're all freaking out over miniature yet huge cats with human celebrity faces and sexy breasts performing a demented dream ballet for kids.
— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) July 18, 2019
i for one think the new Cats movie looks fantastic pic.twitter.com/Nk0pJOSW6K
— Danny Devito Facts™ (@FactsDevito) July 19, 2019
As the owner of three cats, the movie was extremely upsetting, because it threatens to ruin all the Internet good will that cats have.
This is it, isn't it? The thing that gets me to hate actual cats. #Cats
— Michelle Collins (@michcoll) July 18, 2019
every cat should be hiring a publicist right now at this very moment
— hunter harris (@hunteryharris) July 18, 2019
congratulations to dogs.
— david ehrlich (@davidehrlich) July 18, 2019
Would that "Cats" trailer be like food porn for Alf?
— Daniel Fienberg (@TheFienPrint) July 18, 2019
I'm a dog person now https://t.co/NZfV5WBW5b
— Sara Patterson (@sarapatt) July 18, 2019
Here’s a first look inside #CatsMovie. Trailer FRIDAY! 😺https://t.co/VTa6qO1g9h pic.twitter.com/1NHqKrKcMJ
— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) July 17, 2019
Also, it's not anatomically correct:
tom hooper this is what cat nipples look like why did you need to give your gals BOOBS!?! #CatsMovie they are CATS pic.twitter.com/R7N8jYJc4T
— phoebe dark (@phoebedark1) July 19, 2019
In fact, Twitter couldn't even handle the anatomical facts and suspended stand-up comedian Jaboukie Young-White for hours for his Tweet:
twitter suspended @jaboukie, one of the funniest people here, for pretending to be the official Cats Movie account
meanwhile the literal Nazi in my DMs is ~thriving~ and ~flourishing~ pic.twitter.com/RnvfKIm7fy— Jules Suzdaltsev (@jules_su) July 19, 2019
(He was restored.)
thank every last one of you who tweeted... i wouldn’t have been freed without you. they can try to hide the truth but the fact remains: https://t.co/EmCm3AuJj9
— jaboukie (@jaboukie) July 19, 2019
It's also left people who actually know the plot of the musical in a land of complicated emotions:
Oh fuck.
No one told me Jason Derulo was going to be the Rum Tum Tugger. I’m officially like 80% less angry about this movie now.
I’m completely serious - the current king of joyous fuckjams performing the role that probably originally ruined me as a normal person =😘👌 pic.twitter.com/plfXjTz8Q4— Eliza Skinner @ Union Hall Aug 9 NYC (@elizaskinner) July 18, 2019
folks, if you think the Cats trailer is a nightmare, you probably shouldn't look up what the actual musical is like
— Timothy Woods (@TimothyWoods1) July 18, 2019
all these people are like "omg these celebrities look like cats thats so weird they look like theyve been through a filter lol"
they look weird? obviously they've never fucking seen cats before. #CatsMovie pic.twitter.com/noSyMknlm4— 🌸RatFlavored🌸 (@Rat_flavored) July 18, 2019
Anyway, Hannah Woolread's thread explains all the characters of CATS. Here's one good analysis:
THIS IS GRIZABELLA! SHE SINGS MEMORY! SHE IS OSTRACISED FOR SOME REASON THAT IS NEVER QUITE EXPLAINED! SHE WAS ORIGINALLY PLAYED BY ELAINE PAGE AND HONESTLY IT WAS FUCKIN ICONIC. WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO JENNIFER HUDSON SHOULD BE ILLEGAL pic.twitter.com/pSKL6xQAZv
— Hannah Woodhead (@goodjobliz) July 19, 2019
Obviously the only alternative is for there to be an indie version:
Cats the musical but they’re bodega cats and bloods and they’re dealing with gentrification and one of them wants out the game bc they want a better life than “just sleeping on bread b”
— Desus Nice (@desusnice) July 19, 2019
We already have the Australian version:
The #Cats movie we all deserve pic.twitter.com/i8XMxwdxRj
— dan (@dancooledaily) July 18, 2019
And maybe it was all foretold:
Has it been discussed that in Six Degrees of Separation, Ian McKellen plays a character who is dying to be in the movie version of Cats and now he’s in THE MOVIE VERSION OF #CATS?????? pic.twitter.com/s5h85H3r5P
— Michelle Collins (@michcoll) July 18, 2019
