Did you get shafted by Ticketmaster on the impossible-to-score "secret" Arcade Fire shows this weekend? Yeah, what else is new. The bots beat out everyone at Gothamist HQ, but it's all good—there are plenty of tickets available on the secondary market. You could snag a pair on eBay now for the low, low price of $490! They're print-at-home tickets, so what could go wrong? Here are some more options:

Everyone above can go die in an arcade fire. (Sorry.) Speaking of StubHub, prices currently range from $179 to $999 PER ticket. Also, it seems like Ticketmaster crashed because of all the hipsters trying to get into 299 Meserole for the concert. Judson Church seems like a lifetime ago.