(Screenshot from NYC & Company videos—watch here)

Taylor Swift was just named New York City's Global Welcome Ambassador by NYC & Company, and you know things are bad when even NY1's beloved Pat Kiernan is challenging the declaration. But T. Swift penned a jingle perfect for the New York brand, and what fool would ignore that kind of synergy? So she is now our Siren on the shores of Manhattan, luring tourists and transplants here—move over Lady Liberty, you're old—and only about 85% will have their dreams crushed before leaving. In a series of videos for NYC & Company, she tells viewers things like:

"I like how you don't have to really make a plan. If you want, you can just let the day happens. Sometimes I like to pick a neighborhood, not necessarily pick a destination in that neighborhood, I'll just say, 'Today I think I wanna walk around the West Village,' or 'Today I think I wanna walk around the Lower East Side,' and you just find places, these little, kind of secret treasure places that you love. And the day kind of just happens in New York."

There are five videos, all of which feature Swift on (presumably) the rooftop of her $20 million penthouse (her deliveries are adorably mixed in with some B-roll footage of places like Staten Island and Queens). She even goes on to deliver a vocabulary lesson, teaching the viewer about New York Things—specifically: bodegas, Houston Street, NoHo, SoHo, stoops, and... well, that's it. What else does anyone need to know about New York? Here are her definitions:

Bodega: A corner store that's open pretty much 24 hours most of the time. You can get almost anything in a bodega. Bodegas are our friends.

Houston Street: When you get here and see the sign you'll think, "Oh, Houston, Texas, Houston Street. Incorrect."

Stoop: In the south and pretty much anywhere else, the part of the house in front of your door is a lot of the time called a porch. Not in New York. Anything that is has a stairway entry to a dwelling, home, apartment, brownstone, or townhouse is referred to as a stoop.

Needless to say, Swift is getting a lot of criticism for being named New York City's Global Welcome Ambassador, but who better to represent a borough of FroYo and latte foam? One day we're going to rename a bridge after her, just accept it.