The first trailer for Avengers: Age Of The Overseas Box Office Ka-Ching has arrived, ensuring that you won't be forced to watch Agents Of SHIELD next week.
This is just a teaser trailer, meaning it goes out of its way to hold back the specifics of the plot in lieu of dramatic music and battle-torn vistas, but it still includes everything we've come to expect from Marvel's premiere brand of orgasm-inducing CGI-snorting heroes: explosions, Hulk smashing things, even more destructoporn, superheroes battling each other for convoluted reasons, new characters with bad hair jobs (hi other other Quicksilver!), the Lizard King, completely random shots of ballerinas (Joss Whedon sure likes his ballet), people running from tumbling cars, and of course, this sound effect:
As for the plot, we can summarize it thus (SPOILER ALERT for people who are scared of vague plot summaries, which is a really silly thing to be sensitive about, but whatever): with S.H.I.E.L.D. dismantled (see: Captain American 2: We Figured Out How To Make Steve Rogers Compelling), The Avengers decide to take control of policing the world on their own, funded by Tony Stark. This includes the use of the Iron Legion (see: Iron Man 3: Ironing Out The Kinks From The Mess That Was Iron Man 2), which somehow ends up resulting in Stark creating James Spader's Ultron, a psychopathic robot who really hates strings. Hilarity and mass infastructure destruction ensues! There are also several new characters introduced into the Marvel Universe: you can see Quicksilver & Scarlett Witch in the trailer...and we'll just leave it at that for now. We're sure you can envision lots of fun things.
Can this motley group of misfits and spandex-wearers rally together to stop the mad robot from cutting off all the strings in the world? How much makeup does it take to make Aaron Taylor-Johnson look like a legit movie star? Why are there ballerinas? If a Hulk smashes in a forest and no one is around to be pulverized, did he really smash? And is Spader really the Lizard King?