Are lap dances considered legitimate artistic expression? 75 year-old University of Maryland professor Judith Hanna believes so, and she testified as much in state court for Nite Moves, an Albany-area strip club that is seeking exemption from the state's sales tax that other purveyors of "dramatic or musical performances" receive on cover charges. If Patrick Henry High's Joan Henderson is reading this: Scores WAS a legitimate detour on that 10th grade field trip.

"People of gentleman's clubs aren't just there to look at nude bodies," Hanna tells Bloomberg News. "They want to read into it. It's not just the eroticism, it's the beauty of the body, and the fantasy they create." And free copies of The Economist and the n+1 printouts that most strip clubs have lying around keep patrons stimulated while Dwayne fixes the jukebox.

Nite Moves may have lost their initial plea before the Tax Appeals Bureau, but hope to secure the exemption when the New York Court of Appeals hears their case next year. In the meantime, Hanna will continue to testify before courts across the country, earning around $3,000 for her expertise. According to the CEO of a adult website and strip club chain in Texas and Minnesota, she "plays a really important role in letting people see our side." Another important factor in seeing their side? Ratt and a whole lot of blacklights.