Not fucking happening guys. (Original photo by WallyG)

In a recent interview with Spin magazine, Stephen Malkmus—who lives with his family in Portland, Oregon—talked about his old stomping grounds of New York (where he used to be a security guard at the Whitney!). Unlike his Pavement bandmate, Mark Ibold (who you can find behind the bar at Great Jones Cafe), he has no plans to return... especially not to Park Slope. Malkmus declares:

"My whole family is moving to Berlin for one year. We're renting out our house here in Portland. We'll see what happens after that. We're open-ended. We'll probably come back to Portland, but we're not especially tied to it here. I don't think we'll go back to New York City. We will apparently be living in the Park Slope of Berlin. But I don't want to live in the Park Slope of Park Slope, really, though it's where you end up living if you have kids. I'm not saying it's bad there, but you just kind of feel like a mark."

Yeah, even John Linnell knows that it's all about Windsor Terrace these days.