The Trump administration released a list of "under-reported" terror attacks this week in an attempt to neutralize an overwhelming backlash against their immigration and refugee ban, as well as the uproar over Kellyanne Conway's stunning fabrication of a terrorist attack in Bowling Green, Kentucky. Except, of course, most of those attacks cited by Trump as under-reported were in fact well-covered by the media—and the administration is still making up fake ones anyway!
As Stephen Colbert pointed out last night, that isn't the only problem with the list: "The list is loaded with typos like, 'attaker' instead of 'attacker,' and 'Denmakr' instead of 'Denmark.' So at least we know Steve Bannon isn't a grammar Nazi." Watch below as Colbert points out what's missing from the list (after all, Colbert is a Bowling Green Massacre truther) and dives into Trump's bathrobe fetish.
Colbert also had John Oliver on as a guest, and they talked about his own immigration status and fears over deportation. He also had some comforting words about the end of the American empire: "If you're at the tipping point of an empire, then enjoy the dissent, that's the key thing," he said. "You get blamed for everything when you're number one. No one's pointing at us anymore, we're irrelevant. Yes, that hurts on the surface, but it's actually a release, if you really you think about it. Nothing's our fault anymore, other than historically everything is still fundamentally our fault. Almost every global flashpoint can be traced back to a mustachioed British man drawing a straight line on a map going, 'There we go, learn to live with it.'"
Trevor Noah at The Daily Show also dove into the underreported terror list, and he focused on what was missing: "If Trump wants to talk about ignoring terror attacks, let's start with the terror attacks he's ignoring," Noah said. "Because what stands out about this list is that, like an ashy knee's anonymous meeting, there were no white people in this. No Dylann Roof, no Planned Parenthood shooter, no Pennsylvania barracks attacker, and it's not like the Trump people didn't see these attacks, they just don't like to talk about them."
"So here we are once again learning that when a Muslim person commits terror, it's part of a deadly conspiracy, but when white extremists commit acts of terror over and over again, well that's merely a continuing series of isolated events," he added. "It's like saying, 'I'm not addicted to bath salts, that happened one time over 100 consecutive days. That's all it is, I'm not addicted baby, I'm cool.'"
And to round things out, Seth Meyers followed up on a different thread that maybe has been lost amidst the daily news cycle washing machine that just makes everything dirtier: Trump's executive order freezing federal hiring on veterans. "This whole thing is just another example of Trump signing these executive orders at haste without thinking about the consequences, and in turn leaving a trail of chaos," Meyers said. "At first I thought he was just showing off his signature, but now I think he's going, 'Hey, can someone read this to me, I think this might be a terrible idea.'"