Sometimes I will re-watch a movie like, say, Rosemary's Baby, and find that my brain is allowing me to root for it to end differently, despite knowing it will never end differently. Similarly, every June, before the first really hot day hits us out of nowhere, I wonder if it's somehow possible that this year we're finally getting a completely different Summer in the City Experience.

You know, that the face-melting humidity will be replaced with a nice dry heat. That the simple act of stepping outside won't transport me to a fever dream hellscape. That I won't pathetically long for subway breezes or air conditioner drips to cool me off. That Thong Guy will be like, "You know what, It's just a little too chilly for that." That the weather experts won't have to come up with some scaremongering new way to describe the extreme temperatures. That we'll all be able to really enjoy a nice backyard bar, or outdoor movie, or the park, or anything at all that involves movement in a non-air conditioned area during the summer months. That my back sweat won't make contact with a stranger's back sweat on the crowded subway commute to work. That the heat won't transform humans into monsters. And so on.

Heat is the climate in Hell, and that's where it should remain, but according to reports we're in The Bad Place as of today. Even now, in the glow of the late afternoon, the RealFeel® is somewhere between Furnace and Lake of Fire:

The air quality sucks. The phrase "extreme heat wave" has been tossed about. And even the city's wooden benches will burn you, with surfaces clocking in at 140-degrees and higher.

Weather guy Bob Oravec says, “This type of heat wave is typical for early summer,” adding that the above-average temperatures were "not astronomical.” Say it to our faces when you see them melting on the subway, Bob.

For the rest of the day, NY1 has predicted "heat" and a "hot commute" followed by a brief storm. Tomorrow there will be more heat.