As if "GTL" isn't already permanently etched into every American's vocabulary right now, Jersey Shore starlet Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi says she will write a "Snooktionary," to help viewers understand "what the hell I'm saying [on the show] cause nobody knows." She gave a sneak peak of what would appear at a press conference yesterday, introducing the verb "To Snook." "I'm just Snookin," she said. "Snookin' is when I'm looking for a guy. If I Snook the night, I took the night." This is just what the Smurfs did, right?

In the wake of her recent incarceration, Snooki has also decided to make some life changes. She told the Post, "I need to calm down with drinking. I can't be drinking in the middle of the day." Her arrest also upset the rest of the Snooki clan. She said Papa Snooki was "very, very pissed. He was like, 'I didn't raise you like this.'"

Meanwhile, Bob Herbert is weeping over at the Times about a generation "that is more interested in hip-hop and Lady Gaga than educating its young." The U.S. ranks 12th out of 36 developed nations for the percentage of the population with college degrees, and Herbert says people like Snooki are to blame. "We no longer know how to put our people to work. We read less and less and write like barbarians. We’ve increasingly turned our backs on the very idea of hard-won excellence while flinging open the doors to decadence and decline. No wonder Lady Gaga and Snooki from “Jersey Shore” are cultural heroes." He thinks it's barbaric, but maybe the country is just switching to SED (Snooki English Dictionary) usage.