Some time last year, Gothamist began receiving an email missive entitled "S L N Y", and subtitled "the pretentious* little one pager". Immediately we encountered a problem: The She Loves NY newsletter did not appear to be written in English - it's almost as bad as Navajo mixed with Urdu, then with a splash of Martian. And our decoder ring doesn't work! But what to do? A few weeks later, the New York Post ran an article about SLNY, helpfully explaining that it was a guide to restaurants intended for the young and hip. Even with this information, and meeting the handsome young man behind SLNY (at Bungalow 8, natch), we were still unable to tease out any meaning from their weekly emails. So, now Gothamist turns to you for help. Below is a copy of the current week's SLNY, with our guesses at what each section means. Add your own thoughts in the comments.

> s l n y
> may 27, 2004
> the pretentious* little one pager
> courtesy of shelovesny.com

What does the "*" mean? We've scoured the rest of the email, and the SLNY website, and can find no footnotes. Is the "*" just decoration?

> at this time welcoming ls to the dance floor at shelovesny.com/thedancefloor
> (exclamation mark)


We followed the link, and it redirects to Lockhart Steele's new enterprise, Curbed. Perhaps LS and SLNY are members of some underground hipster Fight Club with its own patois, known only to those who have been inducted? We've heard of clubs like this, and they begin with "Scient-" and end with "-ology."

> today in a decidedly flip flops motivated gait, so take it slow, kiddo:
> v steakhouse
> kittichai

The first sentence makes no sense! And as generators of nonsensical sentences, we'd like to point out it's not even a sentence. Is there some instruction embedded in "a decidedly flip flops motivated gait"? Is "take it slow, kiddo" a password? An homage to Kill Bill? The "V steakhouse" may or may not be a reference to Jean-Georges' new place up at Time Warner, which is more like whorehouse red. Kittichai returns no results on Citysearch, but from the name we are thinking that it's either a Indian-tea-bar for cats, or a new Thai restaurant, maybe in SoHo? Apparently the Post was right - SLNY does seem to be suggesting restaurants. But they might be restaurants in the bizarro world. Or maybe you'd need a tessarect to get to them. And are these advertisements or editorial content? We simply do not know!

> L.I.E.S (reason to stay put, sir; a summer in the city sampler)
> sheep¹s meadow -- it¹s a wrap delivery available to nw corner entrance
> rocking horse café ­- say it with me, matty, watermelon margarita
> 79th st. boat basin ­- bucket of beer and river views both available
> yankee stadium ­- see esp. versus mets in june

L.I.E.S. is clearly an acronym for some kind of evil hipster organization. Does Sac know about this? The parenthetical comment seems to indicate that these are locations for those of us unlucky enough to be summering elsewhere. But what is the superscript '1' in Sheep's Meadow? A signal that this is where the flashmob will meet? And is SLNY really referring to the Rocking Horse Cafe at 182 8th Avenue, in impossibly passe, now non-gay Chelsea? It does not make sense!

> A67 (she loves the al fresco sets, matty; pier 25 and vicinity)
> bubby¹s ­- for brunch preceding westward walk on no moore
> pier 25 ­- open air ping pong, mini golf, matty, and the like
> lunchbox -­ slightly to the north, for open air drinks post pier

Smoking at A60; Photo - NY Post

A67 may be a reference to A60, the impossibly crowded and pretentious rooftop bar at the Thompson Hotel. And, yes, we admit we sweat it. Gothamist is almost certain that the A60 card that we "borrowed" last year no longer works in the elevator there. It's back to drinking 40s on the street for us! (Which we love, don't get us wrong.) The other selections appear to be places for outdoor dining in Tribeca. Bubby's, again with the '1', is a cafe known for brunch (and ridiculously long lines of people who want to eat where Carolyn and John-John did). A weird coding blip that happens to apostrophes when the email is sent out - we think not! Pier 25 is just off North Moore Street on the West Side.

> BLACK COD MISO NORTH (in ¹05, the biggest opening ever ever ever ever)
> nobu 57th ­- slny not buying the coincidence; first bobby, now matsuhisa

Apparently, this is a nod to news that Nobu, the Tribeca sushi place, will be opening an outpost in Midtown. Bobby is most likely Robert DeNiro, since we don't think SLNY should be mentioning Bobby Flay. But what is he doing in Midtown?

> THE NEW BLACK EAST (presented as a supplement to slny with caution)
> jlx ­- soft until mid june; jlx¹s name isn¹t even jean luc, matty
> dragon bar
> alison at 95 school st ­- resy available below

The New Black East seems to be a block of restaurants in the Hamptons, which seems strange, because the area seems to be many things, but definitely not black.

> CAPTAIN RESY feat. THE 6-3-1
> della femina -- 631 329 6666 -- one ring, 6:30 or 10
> alison/95 school st -- 631 537 7100 -- two rings, 5:30 or 10
> jean luc east -- 631 324 1100 -- two rings, 6 or 11
> nick and toni's -- 631 324 3550 -- three rings, 10:30
> palm -- 631 324 0411 -- one ring, 5 or 10

This has always been one of SLNY's most mystifying features. Apparently, they are listing the numbers of popular restaurants, along with what happened when they called them up. Are these numbers unlisted? What is this 6-3-1? Is the reservation for the same night? What night, since some might just want that 5:30 or 10 slot? What, if anything, can we conclude from their results?
That this 6-3-1 doesn't allow people to eat in the 7, 8, or 9 o'clock hours?

> she loves ny, matty, now go and show it to her

We love New York too! Can we be friends?