Like just about every other New Yorker, it turns out that national treasure Stephen Colbert has some strong opinions on Cynthia Nixon's now-infamous bagel order. And like many of us, he was kind of repulsed by the unholy schmear job: "It's a great Rosh Hashanah treat if you're craving both Cinnabon and Long John Silver's, but you only have time for one stop," Colbert said. "Now, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say this is the worst Nixon scandal in the history of politics."

Nixon, who refused to be bagel-shamed, used the attention from it to pivot to fundraising off the order. Colbert was fine with that, but like us he had a problem with the impressively awful photoshop the campaign used: "What in sweet photoshop hell is this monstrosity? That sandwich is such an abomination they couldn't find it in nature."

Watch below as Colbert ultimately defends Nixon's questionable taste buds (while gagging). And now I really want to try Jolly Rancher dressing.