Gothamist loves Johnny Depp. And we love John Turturro, too. But after seeing trailers for their new movie, Secret Window, it seemed to us that the plot of Depp as a writer, working on his novel in a deserted cabin in the woods (of course), and Turturro as the crazy writer who appears at the door, claiming to have written Depp's story first, and wanting Depp to change the ending of his story, is more like "Knock knock, it's an angry Barton Fink in a Forrest Gump voice!" We prefer our crazy Turturro as a gay bowler. And the best Johnny Depp thriller is The Ninth Gate for our money.

Secret Window opens this Friday.