Upon first looking at this list of 50 ways to fix the movies, you might think, anybody could have thought of it. But that's the brilliance - it's what we all think. And leave it to two Canadians to put it to paper in the Toronto Star. Gothamist heartily agrees with many entries, especially these:
9 Roger Ebert and his new sidekick Richard Roeper should be required to wear condoms on their thumbs. They've become way too promiscuous about the films they jerk skyward for.
13 Drunks should be seen in films as obnoxious and slobbering as they are in real life, not as barroom wits or street sages.
28 Now that gay marriage is legal and all, have Frodo marry his adoring sidekick Sam atop Mt. Doom, in the final instalment of The Lord Of The Rings trilogy. All this heavy breathing is driving us crazy
33 Please give Samuel L. Jackson a job other than playing the tough-as-nails veteran cop/soldier/jedi looking to recruit a few crazed young'uns for a suicide mission.
39 Tell Edward Burns he can no longer make or star in a movie in which he plays the know-it-all New Yorker who gets the girl despite his own lousy personality.
40 Only cast Tom Cruise opposite women way taller than him. It's a blast to watch.
