Everyone's favorite holiday shit show, SantaCon, is set to return this Saturday, but it appears drunk Santas won't limit the curbside vomiting to Murray Hill or Midtown. Indeed, this year's event kicks off in none other than McCarren Park in Greenpoint—sorry Turkey's Nest, you're a goner!
As reported by DNAinfo and confirmed to us by the Parks Department, SantaCon organizers have been granted a permit to gather at two McCarren Park football fields at 10 a.m., whereupon attendees will embark upon a magical, inebriated journey until the last Slutty Elf topples over into a gutter. The route has not yet been revealed, but you can bet at least a chunk of it will be in Williamsburg to start off with, though thankfully a police source told DNAinfo that the hullabaloo will eventually migrate to its rightful home in the East Village.
The Parks Department says about 800 to 1,000 people are expected to gather in the park, and hopefully all of them will be wearing sequined Cat Christmas sweaters to commemorate the event. It's unclear just how many attendees will have pregamed SantaCon, but officials say we must REMAIN CALM: "Parks has worked with NYPD and the community to ensure the gathering in McCarren to launch this year's SantaCon is safe, orderly and respectful of the local community," a spokesperson told us in a statement. "SantaCon has complied with all of Parks and NYPD request and we expect a well-organized event." Well-known civil rights attorney Norman Siegel, who represented Santa last year and again this year, has not yet responded to request for comment.
SantaCon has made it to the area in past years, but this is the first time the event starts there, an honor usually afforded neighborhoods like Murray Hill or the EV (Bushwick passed on it last year). Don't worry, Brooklynites, it's just a matter of time before Bedford Avenue pulls a Pangea and breaks away from the borough like the Hipster Gods intended.