We know what the kids have been saying around the playground: the chocolate milk is made with fly juice, Brandon's mom has a glass eye, and Santa isn't real. Well, only one of those things is true (no matter what, focus on the right eyeball when you meet her) and we're here to provide incontrovertible proof that Santa Claus is as real as the threat of nuclear winter. Take a look at the above photo, taken at the North American Aerospace Defense Command's Santa Tracking HQ in Colorado. The independent agency partnered with the Air Force and charged with protecting our skies surely wouldn't waste time or precious resources on a myth, now would they?

Before you head down to the bomb cellar, here's why NORAD began tracking Santa in the first place. In 1955, a Sears in Colorado Springs offered up Santa's telephone number in an ad, but the number actually patched children through to the NORAD commander-in-chief's hotline. The agency determined that one Red was as good as another, and embraced its role in creepily watching the old man do his work, their proverbial fingers on the triggers of 32,193 nuclear weapons, many of which do not work now.

So tonight when you climb into bed and refresh the NORAD Santa Tracker, remember that NORAD is perfectly capable of keeping a bead on a fat man carrying iPads on a sleigh as well as the big, pointy sleigh streaking in from North Korea. Sleep tight!