There's no end to the unrealistic NYC apartments on the small and silver screen, but Piper Perabo's Chinatown apartment in the classic 2000 film Coyote Ugly is a noteworthy offender.

For those of you who are unlucky enough to have missed Coyote Ugly, or who need a refresher, here is the gist—Perabo plays Violet, a starry-eyed songwriter from a far away land called New Jersey who moves to the Big City to find her break, but ends up making ends meet by bartending at Coyote Ugly, a popular establishment where ladies dance on tables and pour ice on people.

There's a lot of High Drama in this film—Perabo starts a relationship with super hot Australian Adam Garcia, alienates dad John Goodman, has love/hate tension with boss Maria Bello, and tries to get famous people to sing her songs. Throughout this, though, she somehow manages to live ALONE in a MASSIVE apartment in Chinatown, a feat far less realistic than getting LeAnn Rimes to perform "Can't Fight the Moonlight" on top of a bar. They try to dress her apartment up all dirty but it is a goddamn palace, YOU CAN'T TRICK ME.

LOOK AT ALL THIS SPACE.

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LOOK AT ALL THIS LIGHT.

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I mean, sure, the tub's in the middle of the apartment, but they're charging nearly $2K for apartments with showers in the kitchen nowadays, and, more importantly, Violent doesn't have to share that bathtub with ANYONE.


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This fridge might be grimy, but it belongs to VIOLET and VIOLET alone. Only VIOLET can leave a milk carton in there for so long it explodes, that lucky minx.


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I would kill a human for this rooftop.


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SHE HAS SO MUCH ROOM FOR LAMPS!

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What Hollywood set designers never seem to understand about NYC apartments (Coyote Ugly was filmed in Los Angeles) is that in this fair town, a "crappy" apartment isn't necessarily one that's shabby around the edges. A good paint job can spruce up a fixer-upper, but here, Hell Is Other People. One of my first apartments in New York was an attic room in Bushwick with a 5' ceiling, two flatmates—one of whom moved her boyfriend in without telling us—and a collection of mice and cigarette beetles, and I could hardly afford that with a full time job.

Sure, the Year 2000 was a different time (the average one-bedroom apartment in Chinatown now rents for $2575/month), but still, this aspiring songwriter has struck real estate gold. At least Monica on Friends had a roommate.