Rainn Wilson, whom you know from The Office and Twitter, has been placed at the judges table for the Nikon Festival, which challenges entrants to submit videos lasting just 140 seconds. Max Silvestri just launched a totally unrelated talk show called 100 Seconds, which is just 100 seconds long. Naturally the two were destined to enjoy a forced five minute phone conversation with each other. Max, now an expert at the short-form talk show, managed to fit in a lot during that time — including tales of Rainn's old Williamsburg digs, and his entire philosophy on life.

You're one of the judges in this Nikon 140 second short film contest. Just to give a leg up to any contestants reading this interview, is there anything they can throw in their films you can guarantee will please you, specifically? Maybe a guest appearance by Oprah. Or the New Moon cast. Try to stay contemporary. A decapitation would be awesome.

You're also a contributor to the contest. All young actors get involved with short films when they're starting out, so is there anything that you made you'd be embarrassed to see the light of day now? Oh there are so many things. So many things. It's ridiculous. I literally yesterday got a phone call that some distribution company wants to release this independent film that I did 10 years ago. I'm not even gonna say the name. It'll remain nameless because there might be a law suit. It's one of the worst movies I've ever seen. And I think they literally think that if they put my face on the cover of the DVD box that they will actually be able to sell a few thousand or even a few hundred units of this absolutely worst worthless piece of dreck.

But there's so much that I'm embarrassed to be a part of. Recently a friend from seventh grade sent my first film I directed that we did with a little Super 8 camera, with a bunch of us pimply seventh graders in Shoreline, Washington..

If you had to boil down all 5 and a half seasons we've seen so far of the Office into a 140 second short film, what would make it in there? I think you could do a great one with all the "That's What She Saids".

Have to ask, because the fans want to know: can you tell us if Michael and Dwight are finally going to get together? We won't tell anyone, this is just for the Internet. No one reads it. That's crazy you knew that! Absolutely. We finally consummate our quote unquote friendship. I'm glad they waited until Season 6. You don't want to give away that stuff too early.

We hear that you used to live in Williamsburg Brooklyn, which is where I live. But you lived there many years before it was a place for college students and European moms to buy cheese. Have you been back? I have been back a bunch. I lived off the fifth stop on the L, Montrose, in an abandoned beer brewery, and there were rats. I was too freaked out in the night, especially when the rats were very active, to go down to the one toilet that was like two floors down in this abandoned beer brewery and use it. So I would pee in cranberry juice bottles and in the morning, when I remembered, haul my urine down to the toilet.

For a long time when we moved in there was no heat. I remember they were planning to put in heat, but there was this cold snap really early, and I remember being on the phone in this loft in this brewery and I spit on the floor and I watched it freeze while I was on the phone with my mom and thinking to myself "I really gotta move."

We didn't have a shower there so I'd take a towel around and go to friends' houses and take showers.

We know you went to Tisch, and it's obviously a great program, but we know students there spend a lot of time there doing things breathing exercises and playing slow motion explosion tag. Do you ever find yourself surprised at how often that comes in handy when you're working now? Yeah, not at all. I probably spent 87 hours of my life doing deep tongue stretches, where you go [Rainn makes AHHHH sound]. I don't even know why. And I haven't really used that one bit.

Well things worked out either way. They did.

You're very open about your spirituality on your website SoulPancake, and we admire you trying to get past spirituality's hippie dippie connotations. Do you think you could describe your life philosophy in about the length of a tweet? Oh wow. That's a tough one. You want me, here on a phone interview, to sum up my entire life and spiritual philosophy in less than 140 words on the fly?

We're gonna carve it in stone. There's a quote from Baha'u'llah that I always try to remember. It's very simply: "Possess a pure, kindly and radiant heart." I'll just go with that.

You are a real celebrity. Congratulations! And also a Twitter celebrity. What sort of advantages does that bring? I think that the advantages that Twitter has given me are that it's helped me promote SoulPancake, which has been great, and if I'm doing something cool like being a judge on this Nikon film festival, it helps me promote that. But the other thing is that people for years all people knew me as was Dwight. And for them to get to know me as a person with my own sense of humor that's different than Dwight and my own interests that might be different than Dwight's has been really helpful.

Last question: will you follow me on Twitter, if only for a day? Hmm. No. Yes, of course I will! What is it?

[I then proceed to awkwardly spell him my name over the phone.] That's a crazy name.