Spoiler alert: there are no winners in this story. According to a FIPS tipster, there are rogue balloon gangs invading Prospect Park, in which children are shooting long balloons off into the air and annoying fun-hating grown-ups. (Hey, whatever keeps them out of the bars.) The tipster writes:

"Whenever I go to Prospect Park, and I mean virtually every single time I go to Prospect Park, there is always a group of young kids (under the age of 7 mostly) accompanied by nannies, parents etc. The members of the group will change, different kids and parents each time, but regardless, they've got a pack of those long balloons that are typically used to make balloon animals, and a little specialized pump for pumping them up. A parent pumps the balloon up to its full capacity and then hands it over to the little kid who lets it go so that it rockets up into the air, and subsequently makes that shrill horrible noise that balloons make when released... over-and over-and over-and over again until I have to leave because I'm so annoyed by the noise. It's like they think that just because they're outdoors they can make whatever kind of noise they want because it's a 'public' space."

Her tirade continues here, and is filled with plenty non-child-friendly words. Any sympathizers for this serenity-seeking woman? Or should someone just tell her that Prospect Park is 585-acres HUGE and surely not every square-inch has been overtaken by these punks... yet.