We know we already have a reputation for being curmudgeonly, but hear us out: everyday we ride the subways, we put up with delays, no pants riders, seat hogs, overripe straphangers, drunk people who talk too loud, stumblers, shovers, spaghetti eaters, toe-nail groomers, masturbators, and of course, rats. Maybe some people like to talk to strangers and have intimate conversations about dirty panties—and more power to you!—but we just want to get from Point A to Point B without anything getting stolen. So can we please stop with the impromptu subway dance parties, please?

We don't mean to gang up on Moon Hooch—the band featured in the videos above and below, who also soundtrack countless other subway dances on YouTube—but we really don't think having a "rave" on a subway platform is a great idea. We've seen way too many sad cases of careless drunk people (we'd comfortably wager that it's mostly drunk people who engage in late night subway platform dancing) getting pushed—or pushing—people onto the tracks.

New Yorkers have a high tolerance for bullshit. But has anyone descended into a subway station thinking, "I hope there's 200 screaming people down here to greet me"?