I have a sort of recurring anxiety about being pooed on by the many pigeons that flock in the park across the street from my apartment. In fact, I usually avoid that side of the street altogether. Apparently, other people share my anxiety, because the pigeon pooing epidemic in Bryant Park has become so bad that they've bused in hawks to scare the pigeons away. In Bryant Park, Hawks Are Circling and the Pigeons Are Nervous. Question: if the pigeons leave Bryant Park, where will they go? I predict a new rash of pigeon pooing at the next nearest green location: Madison Square Park, off 23rd Street.

Tom Lehrer's Poisoning Pigeons in the Park