The 5 "Scariest" Haunted Houses In NYC, Reviewed

<strong><a href="">Blackout Haunted House</a></strong><br/><br/>Takeaway: We'll be blunt: it feels like someone's rape fantasy, has overt sexual connotations, and scares the living daylights out of you. Couldn't get through it. Just gross. <br/><br/>If you're the kind of person that likes to have your psyche messed with, well then, this is for you! You go in alone, it's pitch black, and the first thing they do is put a bag on your head, hold your body so you can't move, and take you downstairs into a room with a surveillance camera. You sign a waiver so they can touch you, and they <em>do</em>. They smell you and rub your hands and caress your body. There's a lot more <a href="">Hostel</a>-type stuff but it won't be as shocking if you know what's going to happen to you. That said, have you ever [REDACTED] tampon out of [REDACTED] and then [REDACTED]? <br/><br/>Worth the $30 <a href="">ticket</a> price? If you're looking to get <em>freaky,</em> yes.

<strong><a href="">Nightmare Fairytales</a></strong><br/><br/>Takeaway: Just don't. It's a waste. Long lines, blindfolds that are used by everyone else (hello <a href="">lice</a>), and it's kind of a bore. But <a href="">we told you that four years ago</a>. <br/><br/>When you're still in line they have you fill out a card asking, "what are you most scared off?" Later, one member is picked from the group and his or her fear is used against them. When this happened in our group a girl was picked and placed in a chair. The chair was used like a trap door and the girl was spritzed with water. We're all for trap doors, they're cool, but spritzing? Really? That's your attempt to scare someone who is afraid of drowning? If someone's afraid of heights do you make them stand on an ottoman? <br/><br/>Unfortunately this was the only really entertaining part of the house. The acting isn't very good and they lean heavily on the concept: classic fairy tales told the way that they're meant to be (scary). But it doesn't work because they haven't taken the time to really work on the sets and make the audience feel as though they're in that fairy tale. The actors are just shouting to get a reaction, and though the attempt at scaring the audience is earnest, it's also lackluster because, well, it's just people wearing costumes hectoring you. This place somehow tries too hard and too little at the same time.<br/><br/>Worth the $30/$35<a href="">ticket </a>price? You've got to be kidding.

<strong><a href="">Blood Manor</a></strong><br/><br/>Takeaway: This was described to us as the "<a href="">Rocky Horror</a>" of haunted houses: i.e.: campy and entertaining. Totally accurate!<br/><br/>There's day-glo paint everywhere and nothing is really terrifying, but it's all in good fun. The highlight is the 3D element where the day-glo painted people "come to life" and you've got 3D glasses on. Altogether it's pretty silly, but with a relatively high production value. This is the thing to do with some friends—preferably friends with a vaporizer. <br/><br/>Worth the $25 <a href="">ticket</a> price? Oh, yes.

<strong><a href="">Coney Island Creepshow at the Freakshow: The Ride Inspector's Nightmare</a></strong><br/><br/>Takeaway: We're not sure if this should technically be called a haunted house; it's more of a play. Not that there's anything wrong with that.<br/><br/>The actors who play the part characters are decent, and the main player who takes you through the house is entertaining. The sets are pretty amazing, it's clear that a lot of work went into each of the rooms and you kind of wish this was just a big house party. A lot of the story is left to the imagination and isn't coordinated properly. The audience is sort of corralled around the building and put into different scenes of the Ride Inspector's nightmare. Since the play doesn't scare you, you should only make the trek to Coney Island if the weather is nice so that you're able to go on something that will: The Cyclone. <br/><br/>Worth the $10 ticket price? Maybe.

<strong><a href="">Madame Tussauds: "After Dark: The Haunting"</a></strong><br/><br/>Takeaway: Meh, you go through four floors but it'll only be good if you're alone, and judging by its Times Square location, you won't be. <br/><br/>We thought this one would be really stupid because it's Madame Tussauds, and while the production value is sub-par, it's amusing enough. We certainly weren't that scared. You're in very large dark rooms where there are wax figures—wasn't that some <a href="">horror movie</a>? It's really hard not to make fun of the fact that the actors <a href="">slither</a> after you.<br/><br/>Worth the $25 <a href=";catalogId=14551&amp;storeId=10665&amp;productId=72639&amp;altEntryPoint=&amp;visitDate=">ticket</a> price? No.